Holy Week

this weeks tour...love and sacrifice
He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!
Happy Easter everyone!
I find great joy in this day more than any other day of the year, why?
He is Risen!
It is so amazing (and sometimes a hard concept as humans to grasp) that God loves us so much He would sacrifice His Only Son...
I have not always put God first in my life. Over the last year and a half, something in my heart has been awakened. 
Love...more specifically Agape love (agape is the Greek word for love, the essence of agape love is self-sacrifice. It is love which is of and from God, whose very nature is love itself) 
I have tried to make God a priority, but trying is not always enough...only in the last few months have I been pursuing God with all my heart. (and what an amazing journey it has been!)
Many times, as a Christian, I have felt it is my duty to do certain things...read the Bible, pray, help others, etc.
That is not what a relationship with Jesus is all about. He wants us to want to be with Him, because we genuinely want to.
"Duty will never take you where love will" (Feel by Matthew Elliott)
I now have a passion and deep desire to want to grow my relationship with Jesus.
"His demand is for extravagant love, passion coming from the heart."(Feel by Matthew Elliott)
God has opened my heart to feel and know Agape love...I no longer think of those things as a duty (well truthfully sometimes I still do-but it is becoming less and less), but I passionately long to do those things with all my heart to become closer with Him.
"God had converted my little duty-driven pity party into a spontaneous act of real love."(Feel by Matthew Elliott)
There is never a right time or a wrong time, just God's time. In His perfect timing, I have become more of who I am in Christ. A passion in my heart has been released, it was always there, God was just waiting for me to realize and respond to it.
That is what happened to me in Haiti...Agape love.
Through this experience I have grown to know the Lord more each day, and I can not contain my excitement!
I want to live my life fully for Him.
I have always had a heart for others, I just never knew what God wanted me to do with it.
He asked me to follow Him. I accepted. 
I have Agape love in my heart...what more could He ask of me? 
Then...He asked me to follow Him to another country. I accepted. (I am afraid, but I accepted and know that obeying Him is what I want to do)
He asked me to sacrifice my life to Him, just as He sacrificed His Son for me. (whoa! really!? that is what you want me to do!? after many prayers...I knew in my heart that I was going to be obedient and accepted) 
Now my life has been turned upside down (or is it right side up?) 
I am sacrificing my current 'life', for the life God intended for me. 
Of course some of those things are material-like the comfort of my home, bed, shower, food...and all I know as of now that I currently call 'my life.'
'My life' has never been mine, it has always been God's. It has taken me 26 years to give it back to its Creator. (after all...it is all I have to give Him)
I now have a tangible connection with sacrifice. (I will never fully understand the sacrifice God made with His Son, but at least I can relate it to something) I am giving up all I have ever known my life to be...for the unknown future-God's plan for my life.
I am so over joyed that all I ever want to do is be in constant communion with God. I pray more than I ever have, I read the Bible, I do daily devotions...everything I do is to create a stronger relationship with my Creator...I love Him so much I can not get enough!
I pray this Holy Week that everyone would know and feel the love (Agape) that God has for us, His creation.

"In human experience that veil is made of living spiritual tissues; it is composed of the sentient, quivering stuff of which our whole being consist, and to touch it is to touch us where we feel pain. To tear it away is to injure us, to hurt us and make us bleed. To say otherwise is to make the cross no cross and death no death at all. It is never fun to die. To rip through the dear and tender stuff of which life is made can never be anything but deeply painful. Yet that is what the cross did to Jesus and it is what the cross would do to every man to set him free."..."It does not keep its victim hanging there forever. There comes a moment when its work is finished and the suffering victim dies. After that is resurrection glory and power, and the pain is forgotten for the joy that the veil is taken away and we have entered in actual spiritual experience the presence of the living God." (The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer)

Remember the cross and what it stands for, God's Agape love.

May you feel the agape love of God on this beautiful Easter!

road trip

this weeks tour...family
For spring break we took our last family vacation.
We went to Missouri to visit my mom's side of the family. Also so I could say good-bye to everyone there before I leave.
It was a great trip!
Hard to say good-bye...but if I think about it I usually see them every two years anyways...so when I am gone it will be a semi-normal length of time before I see them again. (makes it just a little easier to think about the amount of time I will be gone)
Here were some of our adventures...
We went on a hike at the Springfield nature center.

me and my grandpa

my mom and her dad

the family

 Playing with my grandpa's 'toys'. (we all took turns on the 4-wheeler and tractor)

digging some dirt with the tractor (yes, I am wearing a skirt!)

Grampy

my mom on the 4-wheeler

Me

Walking around downtown.

the family

Family Rock Band!

the family

We even went through old pictures...(taking pictures of pictures is hard)

me and my grandpa

my grandma when she was younger

My grandma was a beautiful woman. I know she is looking down from Heaven and very proud of what I am going to do. 
Me and my grandpa have always celebrated our birthdays together because they are only a few days apart. This was on my 1st birthday, and of course being his funny self has the extinguisher for all his candles!
My cousin made this for me. (Thank you Aaron!)

my gift for my adventure

He wanted to make me something special for my trip. He is very artistic and talented. (he did not know that green was my favorite color or that amethyst is my birthstone...guess God let him know, I love how God has been in even the smallest of details while preparing me for my adventure)


This is my family...of course for one of our last family pictures everyone has to be normal (normal for us is having a good time and being silly!)

my family

I know I will be sad when I leave my family...but I know that they love me and support me and will always be praying for me!

getting lost in a good book

This weeks tour...reading
I have turned into a bookworm.
Growing up I did not like to read, now that is all I ever do with my spare time.
Before work, after work, during lunch, in the car. (I did not even get car sick!)
Read...read...read
It is all I want to do...to keep my mind off of all the things that are running through it.
The focus of most of my books have been amazing people, who have gone through a difficult time.
I find strength and hope in their stories, which have given me courage to know that I will make it through my own difficult experiences. (with God by my side every step of the way)
Moving away from family and friends will be very hard for me. (I have never spent an extended amount of time away from them)
In my heart I know that God has always been with me.
I know that He will always be with me.
Getting lost in a good book, has been helpful to me the past few weeks. It has given me the chance to read about others who surrendered things in their life, to follow God.
I am surrendering a few things in my own life. (family, friends, work, comfort...the list goes on)
As hard as it is for us as humans to give things up, sometimes that is what God asks of us to follow Him.
I look up to people like Bonhoeffer, Corrie ten Boom, and Mother Teresa (she is next on my list of people to read about!). These amazing people have all given up something to follow God.
God is asking me to follow Him and I am boldly taking that step of faith. (I am so excited to see all of the wonderful things He does in my life!)
With that said...I am off to read another book...if you have any good ones I would love your recommendations! (I will read any type of book, so the more suggestions the better)
(if you notice...I did not post this in my home state of Colorado, but from Missouri. I am visiting family this week! that is another story for another day)

couch potato

This weeks tour...???? laziness (I do not really want to call it that but I do not have a better name for it)
I have been avoiding and/or being lazy about doing a few things. (sometimes I feel like a couch potato)
They are not super important, just a few things to finish up before I leave.
But I do not want to do them....
Why?
Because then I know that I am that much closer to leaving...
(do not get me wrong I am super excited about leaving! just sometimes doing a few things makes it that much more real)
The only thing I have to say about it is this...

March 18

"Trust Me one day at a time. This keeps you close to Me, responsive to My will. Trust is not a natural response, especially for those who have been deeply wounded. My Spirit within you is your resident Tutor, helping you in this supernatural endeavor. Yield to His gentle touch; be sensitive to His prompting. Exert your will to trust Me in all circumstances. Don't let your need to understand distract you from My Presence. I will equip you to get through this day victoriously, as you live in deep dependence on Me. Tomorrow is busy worrying about itself; don't get tangled up in its worry-webs. Trust Me one day at a time."

by Sarah Young

who would you want to meet?

this weeks tour...people
you know the random question, "if you could meet anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?"
i have never had an answer to that question, there are plenty of interesting people i would like to meet (inventors, artists, etc.), but no one that sticks out in my mind.
i now have an answer!
i just finished reading the book, Bonhoeffer, and all i can say is "wow!" (if you want to know about all those who were against Hitler, and what they did to try to end his reign, you should read this book)
in case you do not know who he is...Dietrich Bonhoeffer...was an amazing man of faith. he is best known for his involvement in the Valkyrie plot to assassinate Hitler. (which later he was arrested and killed for)
i am most impressed with his faith during the time in history in which he lived.
he never let his faith fade away, even during the most difficult of times. (he was imprisoned for 18 months)
from a very early age he knew he wanted to study theology and become a pastor. (i wish i knew what i wanted to do)
the thing that sticks out to me most at this particular moment in my life...is his work and study of the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew. 
that is what we are currently studying in church. (God has a sense of humor)
i find it interesting that he understood and lived his life the way Jesus wanted us to live, and he preached that through this particular section of Scripture. (he wrote several books, that i am so excited to read!) i am now learning about and gaining a better understanding of what it means to live your life fully for God and His calling for you.
Bonhoeffer knew what God was calling him to do would be dangerous, but he knew he needed to listen and follow God's plan for his life.
as hard as it seems at times...i know what God is asking me to do will not always be easy...but i know that is what He has planned for me.
when i think of leaving for 27 months, i get a little scared/nervous. i know i will never be alone, God will always be with me! 
i know that my time in FSM will bring me closer to God and my relationship with Him will be that much stronger.
i look up to Bonhoeffer as a great example of living out faith in this world.
i am blessed to have this opportunity, and i can not even begin to thank God enough for it, He wants to know me more just like i want to know Him more!
as always He knows just what to say to me...

march 11

"walk by faith, not by sight. as you take steps of faith, depending on Me, I will show you how much I can do for you. if you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of seeing Me work through you. when I gave you My Spirit, I empowered you to live beyond your natural ability and strength. that's why it is so wrong to measure you energy level against the challenges ahead of you. the issue is not your strength but Mine, which is limitless. by walking close to Me, you can accomplish My purposes in My strength."

by sarah young

i am so speechless at how God has worked in my life in the past year! and i am so excited for my new journey in life in which He will be my focus.